Jace: Rebels Advocate (Book 4) Read online

  I walk into the main part of the gym and look around. There are a few guys using the weights and a lady on a treadmill, but none of the boys. “Cole?” I call out. “Are you here?”

  Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

  Shit.

  I search a little deeper. “Cole?” I call out again. “Luke? Caden? You guys here?”

  Again, nothing.

  “You’ve got some balls walking in here, Cameron.”

  I come to a startling stop as the words practically vibrate through me. It’s him. Jace King. I’d recognize that voice even in the deepest pits of hell. My back stiffens as the shock completely rocks through me.

  I don’t want to turn around but I have no choice. I can’t just stand here like a fool. He tore me down and I left to give my heart a chance to heal, so I guess this is the ultimate test if Jace King still holds me in the palm of his hand.

  I let out a shaky breath and prepare myself to face the man who hasn’t left my mind for even a second over the past seven months.

  I turn myself around to face the offices and what I see before me has my whole world crumbling.

  Jace King stands before me with a newborn baby resting in his capable arms.

  The sight has my eyes stinging with the tears that instantly begin to fill my eyes. My chest aches and I don’t know if it’s from my heart racing or from it coming to a complete stop. I don’t know because I can’t feel a damn thing.

  I can’t breathe.

  Jace King has a baby and that tiny little angel in his arms is not mine. That should have been me. I was supposed to have the tiny blonde baby with the big green eyes smiling up at her daddy, and now he’s given that to someone else.

  The tears spill from my eyes as the shock begins to wear off. How could he do this? I gasp for air and try to fill my lung but the sob rising in my throat makes it impossible.

  I have to get out of here.

  I turn and run. I push my feet as fast as they can go and push myself out the door of Rebels Advocate before the grief and my aching heart catches up to me.

  I fall to my knees as the sob tears from my throat.

  My life will never be the same. I should never have gotten on that plane and come home.

  Without even trying, Jace King has destroyed me. Again.

  Chapter 2

  Jace

  Fuck.

  She’s back. Cameron Fucking Drew is back.

  Seven months ago, she walked out of our lives without so much of a goodbye and disappeared. And now, she just walked her fine ass into my gym after seven months of nothing and just stands there. I had envisioned this moment so many times over the last seven months. What it would feel like. What she would say.

  But this… this is not it.

  I thought she’d be yelling at me. Thought she’d be losing her fucking mind and saying anything to hurt me. Hell, I even thought she might try to get a few good hits in. But she doesn’t. She just stands there, looking like a broken and crumpled version of the Cami I used to know.

  She looks exhausted and the way her eyes are guarded as she watches me is as though she can hardly stand the sight.

  My heart is shattering right before her, but she’ll never know.

  I look down at the snoring baby in my arms. My beautiful niece, Isabella. She’s only three weeks old and the reason I’ve been able to breathe again. I voulenteered to watch her for a few hours today while her mommy caught up on some sleep and her daddy went back to work.

  Why did it have to be today that she came back?

  I knew what she was thinking the second she saw me with this baby. She would have thought she was mine, and yet, I didn’t explain. I didn’t even bother trying. I know that I tore her to pieces after we slept together, but she did just as much damage when she left.

  She was supposed to be gone for six months. She didn’t tell anyone where she was going or give us a way to contact her, so when that six months came and went, my life stopped. I could hardly get through each day, fearing that something had happened to her. So, seeing her looking as radiant as the day I told her I loved her, drew an anger out of me that I wasn’t prepare for.

  She’s fucking fine and even though I know I didn’t deserve it, I’m sure it wouldn’t have killed her to pick up a phone and call me or Rylee to let us know she was alright. But no, that would have been too much to ask for.

  So, I let her run out of here, thinking this baby was mine, and what’s more, I don’t regret it one bit. I’m sure she’ll work it out sooner or later, but for now, it feels too fucking good. I wanted to hurt her just as bad as her leaving had hurt me.

  I’ve been in love with her since the day I met her, and every day after that, it only ever got stronger. Cami is my whole fucking life. She’s the sun in my sky and the reason I wake up in the morning. Everything I do revolves around her, and I swear, I would do just about anything to give her the world.

  Except be with her.

  She deserves a fucking king and I’m nothing but a monster. I know she loves me, it’s as clear as day. I just wish she didn’t. When I’m around her, I can’t help but gravitate towards her. I draw her in and I feed my selfish need of wanting to be with her, and then I take it too far. I give her a taste of what she needs only to take it away again.

  Why can’t she see that I’m no good for her?

  I shattered her seven months ago, and in doing that, I tore myself to shreds. But that moment with her was fucking magical. I had dreamed of that moment and it was more than I could have ever imagined.

  Sliding into her was like coming home. She was fucking perfect, hell she still is. I haven’t been able to get the image of her taking me from my mind. I have never felt that way about a woman before and it just proves me to that she’s it for me. I’ll never love another woman the way that I love her.

  I wish I could tell her these things, but I made that mistake once before. A mistake that I’ll never make again. What we have… this thing between us, it’s fucking intense. The way our bodies scream for one another is almost enough to drive me insane.

  For two years now, I’ve done everything I can to try and forget about her. I tried to lose myself in other women, hell, I’ve drowned myself in alcohol. Nothing works. So, I drive her away, hoping that maybe, if she’s lucky enough, she’ll forget about me.

  The last time I saw her, I destroyed her just by letting her in, and I swear, I’ll never do it again. I will never be the man for Cami Drew. Never again will I experience the wonder of her body or the way it felt when her arms wrapped around me. She’s a fucking goddess and I’m her nightmare.

  There are so many things I should be telling her right now. I mean, I have no fucking clue when I’ll ever see her again, but I’m just so damn angry with her. She fucking disappeared after we were together. I mean, I get it. I hurt her in a way that we’ll never recover from, but then she just… disappeared.

  I had no fucking idea where she was or if she was safe. I couldn’t call her because she’d left her fucking phone sitting on her kitchen counter. She had deactivated all her accounts and I was left here wondering where the hell she was.

  I find myself walking back into my office and looking up the security footage from outside. My heart shatters as I see her sitting on the floor outside my club with her face buried in her hands as sobs rip from her body.

  Fuck.

  I let out a sigh as I look down at little Isabella. “Come on, bub,” I tell her. “We can’t just leave her there.”

  I make my way out of my office and out through the big glass door of Rebels Advocate before walking out the front with Isabella firmly in my grasp. I see her there before me and I have to swallow down the ache that’s rising in my throat.

  “What are you doing here?” I grunt as I look down on her.

  Cami flinches as the words hit her and I hate myself for it. She hastily pulls herself together before scrambling to her feet.

  She narrows those beautiful eyes on me but they instantly fall down to Isa
bella. There’s nothing but pain shining through her eyes and I hate that, once again, I’m the reason it’s there.

  I see a wall coming down behind her eyes as she tries to ignore the baby in my arms. It’s almost like a fire boiling up within her. She looked exhausted when she first walked in, but now, she’s just pissed and hurt.

  She ignores my question and raises her chin. “You’ve got a baby.”

  I ignore her comments just as she had ignored mine. “Why are you here, Cami?” I question, hating that the sound of her name feels so good on my tongue.

  She lets out a sigh. “Are any of the boys here?”

  I consider giving her the sarcastic versions of a ‘no’ but decide against it. I’m not really looking at having a screaming match with her out the front of my gym while I’m holding a newborn. That shit will have to wait until a later date.

  She lets out a sigh and looks away. “Ok, well, um…” she looks back at Isabella. “I have to go.”

  She turns and walks away and I stand here, watching her go, and as usual, my heart aches as she leaves. I hate watching her walk away from me. It fucking sucks. I mean, she’s leaving and I haven’t even touched her yet. I’ll be fine if I could just run my hands down her arms and make sure she’s ok.

  I don’t know when I’ll see her again and the very thought has me racing after her. “Fuck,” I curse under my breath.

  She stands out in the parking lot with her eyes closed as she releases a heavy breath. She looks tortured as though seeing me had been hardest thing she’s ever done, though, considering the circumstances, maybe it was. “Wait a fucking minute,” I say as I storm towards her.

  Her eyes flick open and she turns towards me before taking a step back in her desperation to not get too close. “Jace. Please, just… not now, ok?” she says with tears in her beautiful eyes as she walks across to the side of the road and starts looking at the cars going by.

  I can’t help but walk with her. “What the fuck do you mean ‘not now’?” I question, looking past the fact that her tears are tearing me in half. “You can’t just come back here and not give me any fucking answers to where the hell you’ve been the past seven months.”

  “Jace,” she demands. “You can yell at me tomorrow. I cant… I just can’t deal with all of this shit right now.”

  “My shit?” I question. “If you weren’t in the fucking mood the why the hell even come here? You had to have known I’d be here.”

  She lets out a frustrated groan. “I was looking for the boys. I told you that.”

  “Why?” I demand as she waves down a taxi.

  “It’s none of your fucking business,” she yells at me, before pulling back and quietening her voice with a cringe as to not wake Isabella. “Please, just leave me the hell alone.”

  I step up into her. Leaving her alone is not an option. “Why?” I repeat, stepping in front of the taxi door so she can’t avoid the question again. I mean, why the hell does she need a taxi anyway? What the fuck is wrong with her car?

  “Jace,” she says again with a resigned sigh. “I told you. I can’t deal with this right now. I need to… process. Please just go. I’ll handle it on my own.”

  “Handle what?” I grunt.

  “Jace,” she snaps.

  “Handle what?” I repeat a little more forcefully. She doesn’t respond and the taxi eventually pulls away. “Cami, what’s the fucking problem? I’m not asking you again.”

  She lets out a huff. “I just got home and there’s a fucking squatter living in my apartment, refusing to leave.”

  “Fuck,” I grunt. At least that answers why she wanted the boys, though, it kind of stings that she didn’t reach out for me when in the past I’d be the only one she’d go to. “Get in my truck,” I tell her. “I’ll handle it.”

  At that, she crosses her arms over her chest. “I told you, I can do it myself. Besides, I can’t trust you to follow through, and apparently,” she says, waving her hand towards my niece. “You’ve got your hands full right now.”

  Ouch. That one stung. “Over my dead body,” I tell her, ignoring her little dig. “No way in hell am I letting you go back there by yourself. You don’t know what kind of man he is. Now, get your ass in my truck or I’ll do it for you.”

  She clenches her jaw together and narrows her eyes. “You’re such as asshole,” she demands before stomping off across the parking lot towards my truck. I pull the keys from my pocket and quickly unlock it before watching her open the door, climb up, and slam the door behind her.

  As I make my way across the lot, I can’t help but look at her as she sits in my truck with her arms still firmly crossed over her chest. Her lips are pressed together in a hard scowl and it’s almost amusing to watch.

  I get over to my truck and pull the backdoor open before strapping Isabella in, pleased that her bag of things is still right here, in the back seat. I climb up into my truck and the second the door closes, the atmosphere in the truck changes.

  It’s just us here. Nowhere for either of us to run. Now would be the perfect time to drill her on why she left. I mean, she could have just told me to fuck off and I would have stayed away. She didn’t have to leave like that.

  I start up my truck and we sit in absolute silence. Me looking out the front windscreen while she stares off out the window, discreetly wiping away tears that appear on her cheeks.

  The drive is agonizing as the tension builds around us.

  It’s like a breath of relief when we pull up at her apartment complex and I open the door. It’s as though the tension flies right out with the gust of wind that comes storming in. Either that or now that we’re here, my mind is solely focused on getting the man out of my woman’s home.

  I unbuckle Isabella and storm inside the building with Cami right behind me, and as usual, I resist reaching out and taking her hand in mine. After months of being apart, I thought these damn feelings would fade and I wouldn’t need her touch like I used to.

  I’ve never been so fucking wrong.

  I get to the lift and press the button. I look up at the little number above the lift and it tells me it’s taking way too long, besides, being trapped in a lift with Cami is not going to be a good idea.

  I take the stairs.

  “What are you doing?” she demands as she follows behind.

  “What does it look like I’m doing?” I grunt as I fly past level one.

  She’s clearly exhausted and can hardly keep up. She’s only just gotten back this morning so I don’t doubt she’s tired and probably suffering some killer jet lag.

  The need to throw her over my shoulder to hurry her up flies through me, but again, I resist. That wouldn’t go down well, so instead, I slow my pace a bit and allow her to catch her.

  We exit out onto the third floor and I can’t help but feel a little strange being here again. There was a time I used to come here nearly every day in my irrational need to see her, I guess that’s just another change I’ll have to get used to.

  We walk down the hallway to her door and I notice the woman further down the hall who sticks her head out the doorway to watch the show, from memory, I think her name was Kelly. She nods at Cami before her eyes flick to mine.

  I ignore her. After all, I have a job to do.

  I get to Cami’s door and she goes to knock but I don’t waste time with that bullshit. I thrust Isabella into Cami’s hands and she takes her as though she has a contagious disease. I hate seeing her hesitating with my niece. Out of all the people I know, Cami is the one I’ve been wanting to share her with. I want her to love this baby just as much as I do.

  Reluctantly, Cami pulls her into her arms and holds her close to her chest while I get shit done. This mother fucker won’t be answering the door after learning that Cami is back and wanting to claim what’s her. So, I bring my foot up and slam it into the door.

  The wood splinters and instantly gives way while breaking straight through all three locks on the door. Cami gasps and moves back a few ste
ps while also situating herself behind me while Isabella cries from the sudden loud noise.

  In the space of two seconds, the door falls to the ground with a bang and the man who’s sitting on her couch flies to his feet, wearing nothing but Cami’s silk robe and a pair of whitey tighteys while Cami stands behind me, soothing the baby as though she was her own.

  “What the fuck?” he yells as I storm towards him.

  The home that Cami has put so much love and devotion into has been absolutely trashed. There’s food everywhere and spilled drinks all over her carpets. The place smells like dirty cigarettes while one look at the couch tells me they’ve been put out on it. Anger flares through me. This is just what I can see from the entryway, I don’t even want to imagine what the rest of her home looks like.

  At the sight, Cami comes storming in right behind me. She tries to push her way past me but I shove a hand out and push her back. “You bastard,” she yells.

  The man scoffs at her reaction while I continue forward.

  His eyes flash back towards mine before he takes a step away. “Possession is nine-tenths of the law,” he states.

  “The only thing you’re going to possess is a black eye if you don’t get the fuck out of here.”

  A stern look crosses his face as he tries to work out his plan of action. “I’m not going anywhere. This is my home now. I can get it on abandonment.”

  “You’re a fucking moron. She didn’t abandon anything,” I argue as I take a step towards him while the thought runs through my head, that she did in fact abandon something. She abandoned me. “She went on a fucking holiday.”

  His eyes widen as he takes another step back. “You can’t touch me,” he says, realizing my plan of attack. “I’ll have you arrested.

  I scoff at his pathetic excuses as I move closer towards him, not moving my eyes off him so he can see the monster that lurks beneath. “You have three seconds to get your shit and get the fuck out of here.”

  His eyes flick to Cami and back again, looking as though he’s about to shit his pants. “One,” I start, hoping it’s enough to get him into action.